I'm Tired of the Words

I am tired of all the words of love. 
"I love you"
Means nothing
If I feel alone
And lost
And unsupported
And misunderstood
And untrusted

I am tired of all the words of love,
Words tied to no action,
Only to emotion.
How am I supposed to know
You love me,
If I never feel 
Taken care of,
Heard,
Seen,
Treasured.

I am tired.
Every day,
I feel more like crying.
And I don't know
How much longer
I can fight it.

I am tired of all the words of love,
Of trying to tell you how I feel,
Only to have my own feelings
Mansplained back to me.
Only to be forced to 
"Be comforted"
In the way you want to comfort
But not the way I want to be comforted.

I am tired.
Of feeling like
I am the only one trying 
To bridge the gap
To meet in the middle
To jump the chasm
The only one 
In this

I am tired 
Of seeing you happier 
With everyone else
And not me.
And I don't know 
What I did.

I am tired of all the words of love.
They hurt
Like small daggers
Reminding me 
How alone I feel
And how far
Apart we are
Even though you are always right here.

I am tired of all the words of love,
I don't know if I believe them anymore. 
I don't know if it was ever real.
I don't know if it ever will be real for me.
I don't know how to move forward.

I am tired,
Of all the 
Words of 
Love.
They have become 
So meaningless. 
Because you say them
All the time.
All
The 
Time.
But I don't see it.
I don't feel it.
I don't know it.

I am tired of all the words of love.